Perhaps one of the most prevalent modern addictive disorders is with social media and the internet, which impacts a huge number of us—mostly because our phones are designed to give us constant dopamine hits and are subsequently getting us hooked. “The ability to engage in addictive behaviors is easier than ever because of the amount of stimuli we have around us that produces a dopamine hit,” Fosh says.
The 30 day rule
There is one thing that experts—including Fosh—recommend when trying to tackle any behavioral addiction. “Obviously, therapy and different support groups can be a huge help, but I think the main thing is to trial a period of abstinence and see what happens,” she says. “You need 30 days, because homeostasis needs to occur to alter the brain’s chemistry. If we’re constantly using something, we get hits of dopamine—which is responsible for pleasure and pain (they come from the same part of the brain).” If we are constantly getting that high, eventually we have to experience a sort of discomfort, withdrawal or pain before we end up returning to homeostasis, which is the “level playing field—like your body’s neutral position.”
Depending on what it is, that might be 30 days off social media, or from alcohol, or not going to the gym every day—whatever it is that has a hold on you, give it up to help reset your brain chemistry. Obviously, for those abstaining from substances, such as alcohol or drugs, this is best done with the help of a healthcare professional, in a safe, medically supervised environment—so if you are struggling, make sure to speak to someone, whether that’s a service such as Talk To Frank, or your doctor.
It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Whatever your affliction, Fosh recommends trying to sit in the feelings that come up during this time, maintaining an awareness of what prompts you to engage in the behavior in the first place, and how it makes you feel. If it’s a phone addiction, it might not be possible to come off it completely, but maybe it’s about setting rules around how you use it—can you leave your phone at the door when you get home in the evening, then pick it up en route out of the door the following day? Or is it about setting windows of time in which you can check your emails or social media accounts?
Treating addiction with connection
“The antithesis of addiction is connection,” says Fosh. “And the reality is that even though we have all these apps, smartphones, and social media, we are more disconnected than ever.” Statistics suggest that nearly half of UK adults feel lonely at some point, and anecdotally, communities are less cohesive and harmonious. Fosh also cites a stat that indicates that 35 percent of young people feel lonelier than ever, despite spending at least three hours on social media a day. “It’s sad because we’re interacting through a phone rather than in person,” she says. “There’s an underlying need for connection, and we’re acting in self-destructive ways as a result.”