The Denim That Finally Made Me Feel Seen

For most of my life, shopping for jeans was a game of compromise. Waistbands gapped, inseams sagged, and silhouettes rarely flattered. I’d walk into the men’s section armed with brand loyalty and optimism, only to leave with denim that felt more obligatory than exciting.

I tried so hard to conform. Regular, slim-straight, baggy, relaxed, skinny, drop-crotch—if the men’s aisle offered it, I tried it. Every shopping trip followed the same pattern: head to the men’s section, pick out a 34 or 36, and hope for the best. The thighs? Snug. The waist? Massive. Cue the belt—always the belt. The discomfort went beyond aesthetics. My belt would dig into my skin and pull the hair on my stomach every time I stood. It didn’t just feel wrong, it looked wrong. My proportions weren’t being honored; they were being squeezed, cinched, and silenced.

For years, I clung to the “right” denim aisle, quietly hoping I’d one day find a cut that worked. Growing up, I always looked to my mom for outfit approval. Her nod meant I was dressed well and presentable, especially for family events. And I wanted to look “right” for them, too.

I’ve always had thick thighs. I wore a size 28 in men’s jeans in middle school, but that changed in high school as my body shifted. By my twenties, I was exercising regularly, especially working out my lower body, and curves started to develop—curves that men’s denim didn’t seem interested in accommodating.

A casual suggestion from one of my girlfriends changed everything: “You should try on a pair of women’s jeans—they’re literally made for your body.” It felt like a dare, but when I slipped them on, something clicked. The tailoring, the contouring, the slight stretch—it felt like slipping into something that knew me. The change wasn’t just physical, it was psychological. I didn’t just look better, I felt better. Women’s jeans weren’t asking me to shrink or contort—they were offering an invitation to be seen as I am.

Celebrity hairstylist Scot Louie knows the power of that shift. “Availability of sizing for starters,” he says, on why he first reached for women’s jeans. “Also, more exciting and eye-catching styles.”

Larry Stansbury

Photo: Courtesy Larry Stansbury